^^  from the time i was barely 15...

^^  to the times we've seen each other grow up...

i feel like i'm not ready to grow up.  no, not yet.   i feel scared to grow up and move on to a new school once i graduate from regent.  i feel scared to turn legal 18 next year.  i feel frightened at the thought of taking my license.  i squirm at the thought of being a young adult.  taking up a part-time job for the first half a year in 2010 sounds tough.  i really need to fork out the cash to pay up for enrolment, theory, prac & TP.  yes, i'll be paying up everything on my own.  it's the deal my parents and i made this year.  well, i'm thankful enough they're not like before, being too overprotective over me because riding a bike is indeed dangerous.  to heck with that.  what the hell do i care anyways??  i need to be independent.  i have to.

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when adie was driving himself and i back from sending his aunt home @ bishan to tanglin halt for his dad's friend's wedding function, i kept looking at him drive.  suddenly, i feel that we're growing up too fast.  all of a sudden, he's driving me around with that father-like feature and his smart suit.  he's no longer in his teens.  he's no longer the adie that i first knew.  he's the grown up adie.  the career adie.  the driving adie.  the adie that has ORD-ed and will soon be in his reservist.  he's the adie that has matured so much, achieved so much.  time is flying too fast.  the pictures above tell it all.  the first picture was of adie and i at yew tee cc during the 2007 deeparaya performance.  i still remember that day very well.  the day he ''confessed'' to me of his feelings towards me.  the day we got so close til people thought we were an item.  the day he stole my nugget.  LOL.  omg.  memories.  hais.  those were the days huh??

now?!!  what has happened to the both of us?!  just look at the second picture of feezady!  it was taken this year before adie ORD-ed.  OMG!!  :(  i wanna turn back the time to when we first knew each other.  really.  i miss him being in NS.  i miss him in his army uniform.  i miss a lot about the past.  but well ....  i should look forward to the future but not worry too much about it.  i should cherish the present while i still can before i miss every second of it.  i shouldn't dwell on the past because it is over and what's done is irreversible.

still .... that's not the point of today's post.  i just wanna let out whatever that is in my chest.  i just miss being a very kiddy kinda kid.  haha.  well, people keep saying YP ini larh, YP itu larh ... i say you guys just enjoy your youth while you still have it.  don't ruin that precious teenhood by keep dreaming and yearning so much to become an adult.  it sucks.  i swear.  having an adult for a boyfriend should mature me and nurture me in every way so that i am prepared to face the real world sooner or later.  however, i still feel scared to grow up.  it will take time for me to adapt to bf's commitments and situation, but God willing, i will.

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as for today, i have learnt that people with money are the people with power.  we are powerless to stop them from doing whatever they wanna do.  i just hope all goes well for adie.  i don't wanna elaborate about this any further.  you know, i know....  public shouldn't know...  :)